Are you so busy making money for your family that you are disregarding their needs in order to satisfy your need to prove how well you can succeed?

We are electro-magnets.  We put out a particular energy and that is what we draw to us.  If a father is so busy working that he can not spend time with his family, in particular if he has a daughter, then he is setting her up to be abandoned by all the other men who come into her life.  As a child, we set up how we will handle relationships as an adult.  When the father is not there due to working long hours, then the child feels abandoned by the father.  This translates into the female choosing men who will be just like the father and abandon her.  The only thing is they will abandon her with a family, just like her father did with his work.  The man in her life will abandon her by leaving or having an affair or some other way.  Having the man retreat into his cave and abandon her emotionally is the same.  This is in some ways worse, since this is usually accompanied by silence on his part.  It is also very destructive to her self-esteem, just like dropping acid on metal.  It weakens and then destroys.

This will sometimes cause the woman to go see a therapist after several failed relationships to determine why she can not have a successful relationship.  All the men in her life abandon her, even her own son.  They want so much to have an intimate and close relationship, but do not know how to respond appropriately when in a relationship.  They are always waiting for the abandonment to take place, regardless of how many times the man protests that he is not even thinking of leaving.  It is always in the back of her mind until she can see this pattern and do something about it.

Speaking of intimacy, the girl begins to see herself as also not lovable, since her father is never there to show her that she is lovable.  Since this is her first contact with a male, she gets that she is unlovable by any male.  This also carries over into her adult life.  That forces all the close males in her life to keep proving their love for her so she can feel lovable.  If they stop for any period of time, then she falls back into feeling loveless and unlovable.

Also, that applies to the wife of a workaholic.  She feels unlovable, because he is too tired from working all the time for any intimacy to take place.  Either he is too tired or due to driving pressure has a hard time being aroused to do anything outside of his career.  This causes problems with his mental outlook and so he retreats more and so they get on this downward spiral that leads to divorce or separation.  Her self-confidence goes, because he is spending more time with his career then with her.  She can not even say she is competing with another woman.  To her, it is the same as it would be for a man to have his wife leave him for another woman.  It eventually destroys the self.

Too many workaholics also put down the emotions of their spouse by saying that they are only PMSing when the woman flares up.  The male does not consider that the female has been allowed by society to have more emotions, then they were. He expects her to respond emotionally the way that he does and when she does not, then he dismisses her emotions as being excessive, since they are to him.  This again belittles the female.  This belittling of her by her own partner may cause her to leave also.

So men, do you really need to prove yourself to your father that much?  Do you have so little confidence in yourself that the only way you can justify your existence is to have more and better then the next man?  Can you really afford to ignore your wife and children, while you are busy earning money?  Many a wife has had an affair to get their husband’s attention.  Are you forcing your wife to do that?  Are you abandoning your family because you did not want it in the first place?  Think about these the next time you miss a PTA meeting or an award ceremony for your daughter at school.  Think about what you are teaching your son, that you abandon your family and him for material things.